Going to the zoo has got to be one of the greatest memories of childhood, right? Well, how about making a trip to the zoo even more exciting, with some zoo puns? You can make your kids groan in embarrassment and watch your friends crack up when you bring out some of these beauties!
Best Zoo Puns
1 I went to the zoo with a group of friends to look at the Snow Leopards. After an hour of not seeing one, I said “Ah well, sNO leopards!”
2 My friend is seeing a woman who works in the zoo. He says it’s going great and that she’s a keeper.
3 My dad used to work at the zoo, but he quit his job as the giraffe keeper. He didn’t get on with them, and said that he felt they were looking down on him.
4 Never go to the zoo with Boy George. All you’ll hear for the whole trip is, “Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon…”
5 My child has a habit of stealing animals from the zoo and bringing them home. I’ve tried to bring it up, but he doesn’t want to address the elephant in the room.
6 Have you seen those two new apes at the local zoo? They’re always covered in cream and have raspberries on their heads. Apparently they’re meringue-utans.
7 I went to the zoo last week, and was surprised to see a piece of toast in a cage. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.
8 On a recent trip to the zoo, we noticed that the polar bear was acting very strangely. Apparently he’s bipolar.
9 Breaking news! All the animals have escaped from the zoo! It’s otter chaos out there.
10 Have you ever been to that zoo that only has one animal? It’s a dog. That’s a sh*tzu.
11 London Zoo has to do a stock take every year. This year, pelican keepers are being warned that they could face some enormous bills.
12 I have the heart of a lion! This is why I have a lifetime ban from zoos.
13 Did you hear about the chimpanzees who escaped from the zoo? Apparently they used a monkey wrench.
14 Giraffes are always considered to be the ditsiest animals in the zoo, because their heads are always in the clouds.
15 A whole enclosure full of hares escaped from my local zoo recently. Police had to comb the area.
16 You should never ever play cards with the animals in a zoo. There are always too many cheetahs.
17 Some zoo animals are jealous because the lion always gets the best enclosure. It’s sad for them, but the lion is the mane attraction.
18 One time at the zoo, I saw an antelope. It was amazing; I had never seen an insect get married before.
19 My friend went to the zoo and a rhino tried to charge him, but he told it he had already paid.
20 Last month, a zoo keeper left the door of the panda enclosure open. It was pandamonium.
21 I spotted a cougar at the zoo today. He’s a leopard now.
22 My friend was recently sacked as rodent keeper at the zoo. I’m a bit worried; he’s going round muttering ominously “No more Mr Mice Guy…”
23 If you’re home educating your kids and want to find the best exhibit at the zoo, take them to see the Adder.
24 I called my local zoo to ask what the best day was to spot a monkey without a tail. They told me that any gibbon day would be fine.
25 My marsupial friend was after a job at a local zoo, but his application was declined. Apparently he didn’t have enough koalafications.
26 What would happen if a hippo escaped from the zoo? Please don’t ask me things like that. I hate hippothetical questions.
27 I went out for dinner with a load of zoo creatures the other day. A certain big cat forgot his wallet, so I ended up paying the lion’s share.
28 Have you heard about the deer at the zoo who can write with both his left and right feet? They call him Bambi-dexterous.
29 My dad came to the zoo, and was making fun of all the animals. I wish he wasn’t quite so hippo-critical.
30 I can’t believe my friend lost her job as a zookeeper! The signs said to not feed the animals, so she didn’t – she was just following directions.
31 Zebras always appear to be the slenderest animals at the zoo. I wonder if that’s because they always wear stripes…
32 We had an amazing trip to the zoo the other day, where we saw a frog tapping on a piece of wood. Turned out he was a Morse toad.
33 It’s really hard to get through to the zoo on the phone. Often you get a message saying “All the lions are currently busy, please try again later.”
34 My local zoo only has giraffes. It’s named Giraffic Park.
35 I do like a good zoo joke, but not the ones with pigs. They are so boaring.
36 Have you heard the pun about the giant kraken at the zoo? It’s been kraken me up all day!
37 I really don’t like insect puns. They bug me.
38 Have you ever tried chatting with the fish at your local zoo? It’s easy, you just drop them a line.
39 The beavers at the zoo are just so awesome. In my opinion, they’re the best dam thing in there.
40 My friend was really annoying me with bird puns on our recent trip to the zoo. I thought, “Toucan play at that game.”
41 I always found it strange that you never see many reindeer in the zoo. Then I found out that they can’t afford the admission fee.
42 I work in a zoo, and the apes were recently invited to star in a film. They won’t sign their contracts – they’re being really cagey.
43 What did the zookeeper say when he saw a bunch of elephants in sunglasses? Nothing, he didn’t recognize them.
44 A zoo visitor asked me what the baby hippo’s name was. I replied that I didn’t know because he hadn’t told me.
45 Lions play it really cool, and always get the girl. When they spy a pretty one, they whisker away.
Zoos are great for fun and entertainment – and for zoo puns, apparently! Liven up your next trip there with some of these gems. Or if you like other puns, check out these for good luck.
